He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
