Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
