I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
