you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize