one might say we're banned from that church
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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