I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize