i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
