Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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