her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
