mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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