Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize