Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
