I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
