just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize