she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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