When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
