New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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