fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize