I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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