It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
