carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
