david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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