Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize