ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
