Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Someone signed my nipple.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
