Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
