you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
