Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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