HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
