lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
