Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
