someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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