We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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