Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
