Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
