He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
