Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
