Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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