i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My breath smells like gin and sadness
where are my eyebrows?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize