chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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