im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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