Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
