I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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