I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
