i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
