idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
