I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
