Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
