No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
