I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
