When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
