Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
