You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
