The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
