the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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