she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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