You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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