I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
