Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
